Parenting

The Importance of Good Parenting

When offering advice on parenting, one of the first things people want to know is whether or not you have the necessary credentials to offer said advice. Unlike some who have taken courses on the subject but have never raised a child themselves, I can say that I have helped raise two children, a 21 year old male and an 18 year old female, and it's this experience that I would like to share with you. I admit I have made my mistakes, but I believe that have learned by them. You may well find some books written by so called experts that may contradict what I am about to say, but I don't care, it worked for me, it will hopefully work for you and at the very least, it give you some ideas.

The Bundle Of Joy Arrives!

The birth of your first child is truly a miracle, and I like to think of every newborn as a fresh piece of clay, one whose future shape will depend largely on how you work it on the wheel of life. It's a scary thought for many a new parent, and so it should be because the way we bring up that child not only shapes his or her life, but those who come in contact with the resulting adult. The first few years are very important as every child will need the gentlest of touches and all the loving care and nurturing you can give. The more time you devote in the early days the greater the bond and truer the form it will take.

There will be many times when the baby will cry and scream, but no good will come of it if you rant and rave back as the baby doesn't understand a word your saying and the emotions you convey will only scare the child exasperating the problem. You first have to find out whats wrong. Is it overly moist, or are there other lumps present in the clay? If so, then a diaper change is in order. Is it too dry and cracking it may be that a temperature check is called for, as something may be amiss. Not taking on the right shape or is the size of your work of art not what it should be? Then perhaps some food is the answer. If all seems to be in order then then perhaps all that is needed is a bit of loving attention.

One important point to make for all first time parents is that you are not alone. There are many people out there who can help you so do not be afraid to ask for that help.

A Toddler Emerges

So you've given it all the loving attention that you think is required and you place it in the kiln, after a while you take him/her out and you now have a little toddler running around getting into all sorts of mischief. Patience is definitely a virtue now. The child will be looking for all sorts of attention; the trick is to reward good behavior and to ignore or give a firm NO to bad behavior. This can be tricky sometimes because if ignoring does not get the reaction he's looking for he will recommit the crime.

Remember as frustrating as it can be anger on your part is not the answer unless its controlled anger. The first is a useless emotion that has clouded your thought process leading to improper action on your part. Controlled Anger occurs when you can step back for a moment take a couple of breaths, count to ten and access the situation. Perhaps no anger at all is needed and you merely have to take the child aside and explain the consequences of what he is doing.

Controlled Anger is to be used sparingly and in dire situations and done on the spot. No point saying "wait till your dad gets home" as this is totally useless because children have a short attention span at that age and they will have forgotten what they've done and won't know what they are being told off for. The action required may be raising the voice or a smack. Once again sparingly because those parents who do this at the drop of the hat, smacking their child every time it makes a mistake will cause the child to become immune to this sort of teaching practice.

The Teen Years

OMG! What have I got myself in for, is the reaction of many parents, once their child has reached the dreaded teens. If you have taught the child in the early years, when you were able to shape and mold them, the teen years can be a whole lot easier. If you have waited until now to instruct a child you will have a hard time ahead of you. All I can say good luck, just remember, whatever the pain and sacrifice you have to go through, it will all be worth it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3745931

By Peter Pelliccia